School's Out

Last week Vivian finished her first year at school.

Here's a picture of Jo and Vivian leaving for Vivian's first day at school. Brandon was hanging out with us because his little sister was born the day before. Vivian was two and a half years old.

And here she is with her BFF Mackenzie on her last day of school. They are planning a tea party sometime soon. And then they'll be in swim classes together later this summer. I've known Sharath and Potty since I was about your age, Vivian. Can you imagine still being friends with Mackenzie or Presley or Natalie or Lucas or any of the other Dazzling Dragonflies when you are 46...?

Ms. Mary and Ms. Cas were wonderful teachers. I have a suspicion that you will remember them for many years. Happy summer vacation.

[Added Jun 5] I downloaded some pictures from my camera and found that I had a picture of Vivian heading off for school on her last day. Here she is in her summer dress.

Six Weeks

Evan turns six weeks old tomorrow. It feels forever - like he should be a teenager by now! Not in a bad way (though we are beginning to look like sleep deprived zombies) but that I only have vague memories of life before Evan.

Evan - this is for you. Today you pooped out of your diaper. While Mommy was taking care of the poopage leakage, I cleaned you up and then decided to give you some "air time" (no diapers). While you and I were chilling on the couch, you threw up on me. And when I was engrossed cleaning up your throw-up, you peed on me and the couch. Yep.

Here's Even laying on my knee one early morning. Sometimes I give him a bottle so that Jo can get an extra hour or two of sleep. Like Vivian, it's obvious that Evan's very alert. He is getting to be more interactive: he's ticklish like crazy. I can touch his ribs with my finger tips and his hands and feet shoot out in all directions.

In the picture below, Jo is carrying Evan in a baby slingie thingie (I should trademark that name). Vivian and Carol and I were out and about swinging a machete at thistles (turns out that very few things perturb Carol like thistles in the yard). Evan was being fussy. So Jo stuck him in the sling and in less than 5 minutes he was limp as a jelly fish.

And here are a few pictures of Vivian: playing with raspberries, and with a shinny star sticker on her forehead like a bindi.

Reflecting after six long weeks, the family feels complete. It's got heft. We sometimes refer to them as "the kids" though it still freaks me out. And I get comments like "your ever expanding family" and "your brood". Before Vivian, I felt like a spectator. Then after she was born, I felt like I was dipping my toe in the water. Now we are bona fide breeders with a garage full of strollers.

Dancing Queen

This may be the fourth post with this title. I have lost count. Have I mentioned that Vivian loves dancing? Today she had her first ballet recital.

More text later.

Beer Truck

We didn't have any eggs for waffles this morning so Vivian and I went to Randalls. On the way there, the Dora CD plays "what will you be when you grow up...".

Vivian: "When I grow up I want to be a Princess".

Me: "But honey, what if I'm not a king?".

She: "Daddy - just pretend to be a king. I'm already your princess".

We park. A Bud Light truck pulls into the parking lot.

Vivian: "Daddy - why is that big truck here?"

Me: "It's bringing beer".

She: "Oh".

We walk into the grocery store. A nice old couple catch Vivian's eye. She waves to them. They say "Hello beautiful - how are you?".

She says: "I'm good. That truck just got beer for my mommy and daddy".

They stop smiling at Vivian. And glare at me instead. They follow us around to see how much beer I am going to buy. We get the eggs and Vivian waves to them on the way out.

In the car, I say: "Sweetheart, mommy and daddy don't drink much beer".

She replies: "No Daddy - you drink wine too".

Silly girl. Here's a picture of Vivian sucking down a lemonade at the Flying Saucer yesterday. She walked in, sat down, and told the waitress "I need a drink". I gave her the look. She corrected herself: "I need a drink please".

Winning

Tuesday felt like the first day of summer: warm and muggy. When I went to pick Vivian up, I found the other parents clustered in the hallway around a closed door, peeking into a classroom through one of those narrow glass windows some doors have. The teachers didn't want to send the kids home hot and sweaty and decided on a nice round of musical chairs.

For next three minutes it was like being in a psychology research study - watching the expressions on the children and comments of their parents as the chairs dwindled and the kids lost their seats. Most cried - children loudly and openly, parents less so.

We had been through this a few months ago - at the kid's Valentine's Day Ball at Nicolle's church. Vivian didn't get it - why was some boor occupying her seat and why did she need to leave the game. Much hysteria followed. So I watched rather apprehensively.

There were three kids left - Lucas, Mackenzie, and Vivian. Lucas tried to muscle his way into a chair already occupied by Mackenzie and he was hauled away by Ms. Mary, leaving the two tiny girls and best friends in the arena. Then the music started and stopped again. Vivian almost reluctantly sat down in the last chair. Mackenzie slipped and hit her chin on the back of the chair. And burst into tears. Ms. Mary scooped up Mackenzie. Vivian wasn't sure what to do. Victory didn't seem all that it was cracked up to be. The parents congratulated me outside in the hallway.

On the drive back to home, I asked Vivian how her day had gone. She said it was "pretty good" - her standard answer. I asked if she enjoyed musical chairs. Her reply: a noncommital "yes" while she gazed at something out the window. Clearly, winning it hadn't made a huge impression on her.

Which got me to thinking about a discussion that had broken out among the parents standing in the hallway earlier. Someone mentioned the pain of losing. And someone else that in children's games these days, everyone is a "winner". I remembered that last year I had watched a game in which one of my nieces or nephews played. Their team was routed. But after the game the child didn't know that. No score is kept precisely so that there are no losers. And everyone got a medal at the end of the season. I don't remember what the game was, or who the niece or nephew was. What did stay in my consciousness was the "no losers" policy.

Playing sports isn't a zero-sum game. The winner and the loser both gain something. Learning to lose with dignity and coming back to win the next time is one of the most important lessons that sports can teach us about life.

Vivian - I'm glad you didn't make a big deal out of winning. Even if your school or league doesn't, I'll let you know when you win. Or lose.

Week 3

Evan is 3+ weeks old and everyone is still alive.

Evan sleeps less than Vivian did. And he nurses like a shark. And he likes to be held a lot. Jo is getting a bit frayed from lack of sleep and constantly having to be a boob. Vivian is settling down and taking on the mantle of Big Sister. I did Crossfit and soccer yesterday - a definite indication of normalcy in my life.

Some pictures from the last few days:

My angels

Evan's a cuddler

hook'em horns

Where is dinner, dammit

I will eat your finger now

Smile - Evan's asleep!

Celebrating Bicycle Month

Eleanor has a new toy - its a Strider - one of those high-prices bikes with no pedals. Ava has one too - Grandma got it for her some time back. We borrowed it the other day so Vivian could go ride with Eleanor. Here are some pictures from their second outing.

They bike like a couple of maniacs. Much laughing and screaming. Occasional tumbles. But it's lovely to see their sheer joy. They go up three long blocks, ride around Rosedale School, and ride back home.

When I was a kid, my bike was my most valuable possession (closely followed by the air gun) and gave me a sense of freedom that nothing else could match.

Vivian hasn't taken to her trike. This strider may be her ticket to ride.

2 Weeks Old

Evan turned two weeks old today. We celebrated by meeting Gordon and Amanda at Red's. Here's photographic proof of Evan's first trip to a bar.

Evan is easier than Vivian was. So are we. It's not that it's a cake-walk (especially for Jo - with nursing and sleeping in two-hour slots). But we weren't taking Vivian to Amy's Ice cream or Red's when she was two weeks old. In fact - for the first couple of months of her life, we only went places where we could walk because Vivian wasn't very pleasant when she was buckled into her car seat.

[TMI alert] Other differences can be chalked up to being anatomical in nature. Evan's already been caught with a woody, has peed on himself and me, and has pooped over everything during a diaper change. One more strange difference - and Jo generalizes this to his gender, but I beg to differ. Evan's poop smells like rotting sauerkraut. Vivian's was odorless for the longest time. Little boys are made of snip and snails and puppy dog tails.

Simran

I remember the day Simran first saw Vivian. It was Holi and Simran brought marigold petals for Vivian. Vivian was about a month and half old. Simran and Jeanne stopped by to say hello to Evan the other day. Obviously Vivian has changed a bit since then. But what struck me was how much Simran had changed. Next week she turns 13. Arjun - you would be a very proud dad.

Simran - almost 13

with Evan

three years ago with Vivian

to Vivian Simran is cooler than sliced bread

Coming Home Pictures

Tomorrow Evan will be two weeks old. Here are three pictures of Evan coming home on Fri, April 23rd.

Buckling up at the hospital

Vivian and Carol welcoming Evan home

Till Evan meets a girl, these three women are going to rule his life

Happy Birthday Jo

It's Jo's birthday today. We aren't having much of a celebration this year. This morning, Jo went off to the doctor to see how the c-section was healing. Vivian and I sat down and drew her a birthday card. Vivian is very good at drawing flowers. She drew a pretty flower inside the card. Then she drew another one on the envelope. It had big petals. She said it was a fat flower. Then she drew in some small stuff on the petals and explained that it was pollen - so that the bees had something to eat.

When Jo returned, we took Vivian to her photo shoot at her dance class today. I couldn't take any pictures (out of "respect for their photographer"). But it couldn't have been sweeter - 7 girls in baby pink leotards and tutus with silver sequins. And a boy in a one-piece tux. Looked like an Anne Geddes pre-shoot party. Adorable would be a gross understatement. I'll post a picture when we buy 'em.

After lunch, Evan finally decided to settle down for a nap on Mom's shoulder.

Sweetheart - happy birthday and best wishes for a very happy year. And "happy birthday, Mom" from your growing brood.