Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Ma Baker

Growing up, we listened to some strange music in Hyderabad in the late 70's. Here's a youtube link to a song called Ma Baker by a group named Boney M. Of course this was before MTV and back then India had a couple of really boring government TV channels and so I didn't see the videos associated with the music till much later. But here it is. If you loved it and want more, there's Boney M's biggest hit - Rasputin.

But this isn't about BoneyM or their Ma Baker. It's about ours. Jo bakes a few times each year, which is a few times more than me. I think she would like to bake more, especially if it didn't involve eggs. Most of the time her creations are great and Vivian and Evan have a wonderful time helping her.


Last week, her Christmas cookies and gingerbread men appeared to be certifiable Pinterest fails, but the kids still enjoyed eating the cookies and Vivian was upset when she found out that Jo had tossed the amputated remains of the giant ginger man in the trash. Jo took our gentle joking as criticism. So yesterday when she got down to it again and popped the makings of an eggless banana bread into the oven, we were all smiles and cheers and encouragement. Then she opened the oven door a bit later and said "Oh". I took that to mean that she was surprised at what she found in the oven, but I bit down on my initial instinct to make a smart ass comment. In fact I was committed to taking a nice slice of whatever came out of that oven and expressing my hearty compliments to the chef.

So we were all pleasantly surprised, hugely relieved, and quite greedy when a perfect banana bread emerged. I had to stop after three helpings and tell the kids to do the same.

Jo - your baking rocks!

Shadows - a short story

The other evening Vivian settled herself on the arm of the old leather armchair and opened her iPad. She read a story that she had just finished in her Writer's Workshop class at school.

My first thought was "Wow"
My first comment was "Can your fellow 6th graders read this story?" It isn't exactly PG.
My second thought was "Where is she getting this material - it isn't autobiographical"

I wrote a post back in 2013 about Vivian's first book. Here we are - five years later.






SHADOWS


A boy stood at the end of the empty hallway. His vivid green eyes pierced her muddy brown ones. Usually the middle school hall was so full of boys yelling and girls squealing, you could barely hear yourself think. But tonight the moonlight bounced off the sparkling linoleum, illuminating the boy’s pale face and making his dark hair glisten with silver, creating the illusion that his eyes were glowing. She felt as though she'd seen this boy before, but she couldn’t place it.

Kayla woke with a start. Her face was shining with a layer of cold sweat. Her blankets were tangled around her bare legs. Kayla’s orange tabby, Crookshanks, named after Hermione Granger's cat, hissed and spat at her, his hair rumpled from the short fall. He wasn’t the only one shaken. Kayla’s hands still shook with the intensity of his stare. Her head felt numb after the dream…

Kayla slipped a baggy T-shirt over her head and untucked her hair from the collar. Her jeans fit snug against her shaking legs. She laced up a pair of ratty grey high tops. A cheap plastic brush combed through her short hair that always got her mistaken for a boy. Her thickly framed glasses sat heavy on her freckled nose.

“Mom” Kayla whispered, “I’m going to school now.”

Mrs. Ruly had been sick for months now, and she wasn’t getting better. After she’d kicked Kayla’s father out of their small two bedroom apartment, she had spent most of her time at the local bar. She’d come home later and later. Stumbling and throwing up, she would make her way to her empty bed. Kayla could sometimes hear her crying into her father’s old pillow. Her mother would wake in the morning with splitting headaches. Kayla thought nothing of the throwing up and headaches, it was just a bad hangover. But soon her mother never left her bedroom, not even to watch a movie with Kayla. One day Kayla found her mother on the floor of her bathroom dazed and mumbling. Kayla rushed to the phone and called an ambulance. When they got to the hospital, Kayla was in tears and her mother’s eyes were closed.

The doctors were cryptic in their prognosis.“Sorry, but all she can do is go home and get some rest.” They looked at Kayla with pity. That was in February, it was nearly May now.

”Kayla,” a pretty girl with huge round green eyes shouted across the crowded lunchroom.

“Gotta grab my lunch, Avery,” Kayla shouted back.

Avery nodded and plopped back into her seat.

Kayla and Avery had become friends after Kayla’s mother had fallen sick. For the past few months Kayla had spent more time at Avery’s than at her own house. She grabbed her tray and made a beeline towards Avery.

“Hey, how’s your mom,” Avery asked.

“Not getting better,” Kayla said, “how’re your parents?”

“Fighting, as usual.” Avery tugged on the strings of her hoodie, eventually popping one into her mouth. “I wish they would just split, listening to them fight is torture.”

Kayla’s eyes softened and her brow creased.

“...Or at least let me move into the basement.”

Avery stabbed her broccoli and flipped her long blond hair that had recently been dyed black to match her usual attire of velvet high tops and a spiked choker. The sparkling green eyes were the only thing left from old Avery. Maybe that’s why they were drawn to each other. Avery’s parents had started fighting, she’d become introverted and her favorite color went from rose pink to coal black. Kayla wouldn’t have minded if her parents fought all the time if it meant that her father were still around.

Kayla’s dad was brilliant, at least that was what she thought. To everyone else, he was crazy. He’d wanted to solve the world's problems, but Kayla was the only one who saw him in that light. Even his own wife had kicked him out after finding a bra two cup sizes bigger than hers, although everyone knew it was because of the constant explosions in their basement.

Kayla redirected her mind and tried to focus on the wonderful dream she’d had the night before. Before she could even catch a glimmer of what the dream had been about, a new thought infiltrated her mind. The glimmering green eyes, the teasing smile, and the way he kept dancing out of her reach.

Avery waved her fork in front of Kayla’s face to bring her back, “Hellooo? Anyone home?”

Kayla jumped and they resumed their normal lunchtime commentary about the group they referred to as the ‘School Royals’.

After school Kayla dropped by the park. She walked around the pond and skipped rocks over the clear sparkling water to clear her mind.

“Ouch!” A head of black hair emerged from behind a large tree. “Geesh you’ve got a good arm.”

Kayla stood there, dumbfounded, like an idiot.

A startling green gaze landed on her and she almost fell to the ground with the intensity.

He grinned teasingly. “Hello Kayla.”

“How do you know m...“

But before she could go any further he crossed to her and glanced at the backpack on the ground at their feet “I saw it on your backpack.”

He offered her his arm in a courtly fashion. Kayla tentatively placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. This was not her normal behaviour. Usually she would ignore a stranger in the park, but there was something about this guy that made her want to be adventurous. “The names Kayla Ruly- although you already seem to know that,” she smiled weakly.

“Enchanted, Kayla Ruly, I am Zev.” He added a quick little bow.

They walked through the forest arm in arm like in a Disney movie. Yellow sunlight filtered through the fresh leaves. Kayla bounced on a squishy patch of moss. He glanced at her, but she was too busy blushing to notice. 

He ran his hand through his shaggy hair, making it even more unkempt.

The rest of the walk went something like that as they walked up Main Street, stealing quick rosy cheeked glances when the other wasn’t looking. As they turned the corner, Kayla’s eye caught on a blazing, red glint of light near his pocket. She stopped for a moment.

“What’s wrong?” asked Zev.

She shook her head “It must have been my eyes playing tricks on me.”

“In that case, let me walk you home.”He offered his elbow to her again, but she grabbed his hand instead. He raise an eyebrow at her, questioning, but did not pull away.

They strolled back down Main Street, across a small stone bridge, and turned a corner. They walked up to the front door of the apartment complex.

“So I guess I’ll see you around town?” Kayla asked turning back to him.

“Coffee on Tuesday?” He asked, adding, “ at the new Starbucks on Hampton Street.”

“See you there.” Kayla pulled her head up to see if he was blushing as much as she was. But he was gone. She started to go into her apartment when she noticed a brown package sitting on the steps. She picked it up and slipped it into her pocket.

As she made her way up the grimy steps, Kayla was lost in thought. Where had Zev come from? She knew most of the boys in her small town that were that age and she had never seen him before. There was something about him...something compelling. She could still feel the cool touch of his hand on hers. She continued daydreaming until her phone buzzed with her reminder that she had an essay to write.

Reluctantly she opened her ancient computer. When it finally loaded, she started to search the web for a good essay topic. She came across an article that was published in the 40’s:

Last week the body of Alissa May was found in a ditch outside of a small town in Massachusetts. Alissa’s entire family is under investigation. The only thing found on the crime scene was a knife covered in blood. It had been stabbed into Alissa’s stomach but the only trace of fingerprints were hers.

Kayla stopped reading and feeling a little shaken, scrolled down. She skimmed a few more articles, until one published in the 90’s caught her eye

Earlier this month Maddie Kim disappeared during a school ski trip. In a gruesome turn of events, her body was found on one of the black diamond slopes. A hiker, Malory Jones discovered her, “Her body was covered in blood and a dagger was plunged into her skull.” Malory found the body when she and her husband were hiking the mountain. There were no fingerprints on the unusual weapon: a dagger made of ruby encrusted obsidian.

The article went into more depth but Kayla couldn’t read more. Her stomach roiled and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She glanced at the small package on her desk. Maybe she would finish her essay tomorrow. She grabbed the brown paper-covered parcel and carefully untied the string. When she pulled the paper away, a strangled breath caught in her throat. A dim light glanced off of the red jewels and obsidian and an eire shadow was cast over Kalya.

Monday, December 10, 2018

The 2018 Christmas Letter

The world will remember 2018 as the year American lost it's self-proclaimed right to moral exceptionalism by letting our fears and biases get the better of us. It is the year that we realized that plastics had fucked up our oceans, at least for the duration of a few human lifetimes. And 2018 is the year that we (and leaders and lobbyists of all except, coincidentally, the world's largest four oil producers) came to the unpleasant conclusion that our children will experience considerable hardship because of changes wrought by us humans to our home planet.

But 2018 was also a big year for hair. Vivian, Evan and Jo changed their hair multiple times.


Also, 2018 is the year the children grew up. Vivian purposefully, and Evan reluctantly. Vivian took control of her life. I can see glimpses of the adult she will grow up to be and I like what I see. Vivian and Evan used to be each other play friends. Now they occupy the same spaces and the same dinner table conversations but their lives are distinct. This has happening a bit sooner for Evan than he would like. He wrote in an English assignment at school that, like the character in the story, he was lonely because my sister doesn't like me and my cat is dead.  So Jo and I hug Evan a bit longer and tighter. But he is beginning to test his wings too.


Like when he went to summer camp. For three weeks he lived amongst his friends and camp counsellors and didn't have any contact with us and had a great time. But I have a sneaky feeling that this was engineered by Vivian too. In the spring Vivian announced that she wanted to attend the three week session of Camp Champions in summer, and so we encouraged Evan to do the same. Turns out that Vivian wasn't interested in the leadership training, or bonding with girls, or sailing classes. She wanted to dance with her old school mate at the Friday evening dances. Luckily, or perhaps there was no luck involved, she succeeded.


It is good to have kids who are growing up. Jo and I went to California while the kids were in camp. We sometimes do our thing in the evenings and the kids get ready for bed and turn themselves in. We aren't empty nesters for sure, but this was the year that we got to see the light at the end of the tunnel.



In spite of all this talk about going our different ways, we do continue to travel well as a family. In 2018 we had memorable trips with friends and family to Florida, Costa Rice, England, the east coast, and San Diego, with one more trip - to Utah - coming up. So Jo had a brilliant idea, as she often does. For a year, from July 2019 onwards, we're traveling. We envision going places that would be hard to visit over school breaks. We want Vivian and Evan to see more of the world but also to understand what it is like to grow up and live in places that we visit. And along the way, we hope to see you, our dear friends and family. Come visit us and share in our travels. First stop - southern Africa - Kruger National Park, the Okavango delta in flood, migration in the Serengeti, beaches of Zanzibar and Mauritius, and the snows of Kilimanjaro. And if all goes well, inshallah, we'll continue after Africa on to South America and perhaps I'll write our 2019 Christmas Letter from somewhere in Patagonia.


Warmest Christmas greetings and a very Happy New Year from our family to yours.

xoxo
Evan, Vivian, JoEllen & Me

Friday, December 07, 2018

Yin and Yang Friends


Karen took this amazing photo one morning on the banks of the Guadalupe river. The river was flowing fast. A light fog hung over the water. And the morning sunlight was just beginning to turn everything into gold. Evan was camping and hanging out with some of his oldest friends. None of them go to school with him now, but many of them were at Grace Garden for pre-school. And Ava and Zizi have a special place in Evan's heart.

A few weeks before this, we were in San Diego. Evan found this pair of yin and yang necklaces where the pendants fit into one another. He bought the pair because he thought Ava would like one and it would be so cool for him to wear the other. He was pretty excited. As soon as we got back into town, he headed over to their house to share his gift with Ava.

He returned a bit later, all smiles, but minus his half of the necklace pair. He didn't say anything. The next day Jo asked where his necklace was. And he sheepishly explained that when he went over to give his gift to Ava, he realized that it looked like he was bringing the second necklace for Zizi and he couldn't not give it to her. So he did, as if that's what he had intended all along.

Karen offered to get his necklace back to him, but he didn't want Zizi to feel that it wasn't his gift to her. Jo bought a second pair of yin and yang necklaces for Evan and Vivian, and they wore them for a day or two and we never saw them again.

But we did get a peek into Evan's heart and it's in the right place.

Monday, December 03, 2018

Hanging Out in Leucadia

Jo found a nice short flatish hike in the San Diego area - a 3 mile loop at the Los Peñasquitos Canyon reserve a few miles from Leucadia. When we got there we discovered that it was about 6 miles. By the time we finished it, we had walked closer to 9 miles. Carol and Evan weren't happy. But Vivian was willing to jog along back to the car - with all her cross country training she's in the best shape in the family.

The trail for the most part was pretty and followed a creek up to a water fall. But at times, it was in a dry desert-like canyon which would have been OK, except for the suburban sprawl at the edges. The next day we went to a very nice botanical garden. Evan and Carol made sure that we didn't walk any more than we absolutely had to, and were constantly on the look-out for a conspiracy that would change the trip into another 9 mile hike. There are multiple gardens and several nurseries in the Leucadia area. Looks like if you provide water anything would grow here.


We ate a couple of meals at Le Papagayo - a Mediterranean-Latin fusion place. When you find a place that both Evan and Carol can eat and the rest of us don't mind, it's a winner. Their hot sauce bar looks like this, so I wasn't complaining.


One night the kids and I were inside and Jo and Carol were walking up and down the driveway of the airbnb finishing up Carol's ten thousand steps for the day. Jo screamed from outside for us to come look. And we ran outside and saw a SpaceX Falcon 9 launch. The main booster detached and we could see it's rockets firing intermittently as it returned back to Vandenberg while the second stage shone brightly like a white flashlight in the sky.


Another night, Navaneet joined us for wine and grilling and a fire outside on his way from Baja to San Luis Obispo. Next morning we met from crepes before he took off. Great trip, and we'd do it again next year except that we won't be around if everything goes off according to plan.


Giraffes

Giraffes are under rated. We spent several hours with them at the San Diego Safari Park over Fall break. They are very photogenic. And they practically have to be gymnasts to mate. 


We also spent time with large numbers of rhinos and many completely forgettable species of antelope. The park rangers were initially worried about how much sex they could talk about with Vivian and Evan around, but we told them they and we were quite comfortable with the topic. Because once you start discussing animal behavior and herding and hierarchy, you quick realize that eating and not being eaten and fucking and not being able to are what it's all about. 

I highly recommend a trip to the safari. Jo and I had come here many years ago, before kids. We skipped it the last time we were here because the kids were too little. This time it was just right.

Pacific Beaches

We like beaches. So no surprise that as soon as we landed in San Diego for Fall break, we drove over to La Jolla and dipped our feet in the cool Pacific waters while we waited to check-in to our airbnb in Leucadia. 


Jo didn't pick Leucadia for any specific reason other than it was a bit out of San Diego, the prices were good, and there seem to be a lot of beaches around there. We lucked out. The town is a old surfer hangout turned hipster place full of great beaches and eating joints. And very few people seems to go to the beaches in October, so we'd drive up to the beaches, park for free, and step on to the sand. We spent plenty of time on South Ponto, Beacon, and most of all, Moonlight beach. The kids had a blast. Jo and Carol lay out in the sun. I people watched. We saw some amazing sunsets.



Friday, November 30, 2018

Growing Up Together

Our friend Robert had back surgery. He was home for a few days. His wife told Jo that she was so ready for him to not be in her way. "So, do you and Arun spend all that time together?", she asked with the kind of fascination we usually reserve for National Geographic series exploring the habits of strange creatures.

Yes we do. We are together a lot. And together with the kids a lot. I see it as a darn lucky privilege that I get to spend all this time with the people that I want to spend all this time with. Perhaps the kids don't. We won't know till they are older and talk to their therapists about that. But the kids end up spending a lot of time with each other. Here's Vivian holding Evan's hand while he gets his flu shot.


But lately there has been a disturbance in the force. Vivian doesn't play much anymore, in the old-fashioned sense of the word play. She doesn't jump on the trampoline, or play "char-char", Evan's favorite imaginary game. Or Harry Potter trivia, or on the ninja line out in the backyard. She talks to her friends about boys and pansexuality and other things like that. She reads books that are too mature for Evan in subject matter. She paints and draws her anime characters. And her busy social life means that she is constantly at sleep overs or with friends.


I didn't know what effect this is having on Evan. Till the other day when Jo went to his parent-teacher conference. He had to write about a character in a story who was lonely. And he had to write whether he ever had felt that way. His answer:

"Opal feels lonely because she does not have many friends in her new town. Yes, I have felt the same way. It was because my sister doesn't like me and my cat is dead."

Oh my god! A stab of cold ice cut through my heart when I read it.  Jo and I will gather around him a bit more. And give him the opportunity to play with his friends after school and on weekends more often. Growing up sucks.

Predictable Halloween Costumes



From around August, Evan says "I wish it was Halloween today" at least once a day. And he wonders what he's going to be for Halloween. In the end he's always a bat, a vampire, a bat vampire, or a vampire bat except for the one year when he was the goth Nico di Angelo, the demi god son of Hades from his favorite book series. This year he was a vampire.

Their school pretends Halloween doesn't exist. But around that time they have a "dress-as-your-favorite-book-character" day and for that Evan predictably dresses as Harry Potter. This year his teacher from a few years ago also dressed as Harry and they were both very excited about that.


Vivian on the other hand is predictably unpredictable. Her theme, if there is one, is obscure book characters. One year she was Zoe Nightshade, the lieutenant of the Hunters of Artemis. This year she was Rayla, the Moonshadow elf assassin who hates to kill.

Jo and I just dressed like we do everyday. It rained a bit and then it poured in the middle of trick-or-treating. We came back home early and a wet loud bunch of kids watched movies upstairs and ate candy while parents ate samosas with wine downstairs.

Cross Country


Vivian came back home from school wearing her team cross country t-shirt today. They had their end of semester party at the park. No more waking up at the crack of dawn. I'll be glad to sleep in and I bet she will too, but I think we'll miss it just a little bit. Here's one of the many pictures of downtown I took from Pfluger Bridge during my walk around Town Lake after I'd drop Vivian off in the morning.

Vivian discovered she enjoyed running last year at PE class. And that she was faster than most of her classmates. So she signed up for cross country. They met twice a week at Zilker Park before school and ran a couple of miles. Her favorite math teacher and his wife were the coaches. The kids were from 6th to 8th grade. They bonded the way people doing unpleasant things voluntarily do. By the end of the semester Vivian was running a mile in around 7:30. Nothing amazing, but faster than I ever was.



The running was only a part of the story though. Vivian set her alarm for 5:15AM on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. She'd wake up, dress for cross country, and pack a change of clothes and stuff to shower. Most days she had volleyball games after school so she also packed her volleyball stuff. Then she packed a breakfast, a snack for school, and a snack for after school. All this in addition to her normal school stuff and homework. And she'd have everything ready at the door by about 5:35AM - we didn't have to leave till 5:50AM. We'd drive in the dark to Zilker where she'd hug her friends, and start warming up. And lose a jacket or two or three.

In the beginning I tried to help Vivian get ready. Put her snack and water bottle together, for instance. But she firmly said "Daddy - I got this". Then, when I noticed she was consistently ready fifteen minutes before we needed to leave, I tried to get her to sleep in longer. Again, "Daddy - not everyone likes to rush in the morning".

Jo or I never had to wake Vivian up or drag her out of bed or hurry her up. She didn't expected us to help, and in fact discouraged it. My little girl is growing up and taking care of her life. I like it and I hope she keeps running. 

Reluctant Entrepreneur

Evan is in an entrepreneurship club at school, but not very willingly. He could have gone to school after care or to come sit in class at the club's weekly meetings where I volunteer. He chose the club. Our teacher, Amber, has done an amazing job. And we have kick-ass speakers / mentors who come to the meetings and share their stories and inspire the kids. Here's Leslie chatting with the kids. 



But Evan insists that he's not learned one thing at the club.

For the business fair, Evan reluctantly decided to run an arcade game. He asked me to help him cut a circular hole in a large piece of cardboard he found in the garage. His plan: for $1 you get three shots at putting the soccer ball through the hole. He called his business "GOAl!l!l". Besides, he had a soccer game right after the fair, and this way he figured he would already be dressed and ready for soccer.


Evan said he wanted to give 10% of sales to a charity because that could be an incentive for parents to cough up the money for their kids. He picked Project Schoolhouse - a small organization that does very meaningful work in rural Nicaragua. I have dragged Evan to two or three meetings with them  when I didn't want to hire a sitter or leave him home alone. I was surprised to see that he actually was listening to what we were discussing.

Evan's enterprise was a success. He hired Vivian to help him. He stood out in front and explained his game to would-be customers and had over $100 in sales. But he still insisted that he didn't learn anything from the class.

This evening we were driving to his very last soccer practice for this season. At the stop light at Koenig and Grover they are demolishing the old Howdy Honda dealership. There was a temporary chain-link fence around the whole thing. Evan read a sign on the fence - something like the one on this stock image I borrowed from their facebook page.


He: "Wow - why would anyone rent a fence?"
Me: "I guess so that the construction company doesn't have to deal with it"
He: "But why doesn't the construction company provide this service?"
Me: "May be it isn't a part of their core value"
He: "Besides, the fence company gets free advertising on each fence"

[pause]

He: "I mean - look at their business - they are actually getting paid to advertise their own service"

[longer pause]

Me: "So you didn't learn anything at the Entrepreneurship Club?"
He: "A little"

Thursday, November 29, 2018

All The News That's Fit To Feed

News is forced fed to us in our brave new digital world. My newsfeed is supposed to be hyper-customized for me because the phone knows everything about me. What I like, my desires and searches, how much I spend and on what, what I click on, what I stare at, how many steps I walk, in which direction and where, and everything I say.

Then I saw this newsfeed the other day and realized that either they got me all wrong, or the algorithms are a lot stupider than I had credited them to be, or some other really dark plot that I don't understand is afoot.



But now that I've been tagged thusly, I just had to go ahead and click on another princess story!




Traveling Without the Fam

We travel quite a bit as a family. Jo and the kids are easy to travel with. And we do things together that we all usually like. So when they don't travel with me, it boils down to not wanting them to miss school.

I ended up taking two trips this Fall without the family- to Mexico and India. I missed the little turds before the end of both trips.

I went to Mexico to see my old friend Bill, a.k.a Navaneet. He has settled in Baja Norte and spends his time between the beach town of Ensenada and the wine growing Valle de Guadalupe. Bill was a great host and we made a very small dent in the region's 122 wineries and restaurants in the few days there.


I went to India for my college friend's daughter's destination wedding in Goa. We spent a couple of days in the party-crazy north Goa beach village of Baga. This is what the beach looks like at midnight. Incidentally, Sharath and his family and Jo and my dad and I had spent a few days at this beach in early 2005.  

Then, we met up with the wedding party and continued our party at the Charles Correa designed Cidade de Goa hotel in Dona Paula. 


After the wedding, I flew down to Hyderabad and joined Alu for a week for the ostensible purpose of working on my dad's estate. In reality we ate our way through the city with much help from the Choudary's. The Charminar, Hyderabad's landmark, appears in this mural in the courtyard of the new Zaiqa-e-Hyderabad restaurant, across the street from Sunflower - the home where Alu and I spent our formative years. When we did work, hanging out at banks and lawyer's offices was made more bearable upon returning to my new best friend in Hyderabad - Messi - Sharath's cocker puppy.


I flew Qatar Airways on my way to India and back. Qatar is under diplomatic blockade by American ally Saudi Arabia because of it's close ties to Iran, with the the start of the crisis coinciding with Trump's trip to see the Saudi king in 2017. Confusingly though, Qatar hosts the largest US military base in the middle east and is pivotal for American operations in Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan. Qatar will host the 2022 World Cup and has a very shinny new airport in Doha through which I transited.

Getting in and out of Doha is tricky because the Qatar Airways airplanes can't fly through the airspace of any of it's neighbors. So the inflight entertainment console shows your airplane twisting and turning to hug the Qatari coast till it makes a dash across the Persian Gulf to the coast of Iran, which it follows northwestwards over the Shatt-al-Arab into Iraq and over Baghdad, Kirkuk, and Mosul, and into Turkey and beyond.

And by the miracle of modern technology, I returned home to huge hugs from Vivian and Evan about 24 hours after stepping aboard an airplane in Hyderabad.