Saturday, August 28, 2010

Witness

Vivian - you are my witness.

It's been a long time since I had a room mate. Living with your Dadu [Grandpa] is like having a room mate who is a lot of work.

He had a stroke last week. Before that, he was physically slow, not very rational, and difficult to communicate with. Now he is really slow, very irrational, and refuses to talk unless I force him to. But it helps to know that it isn't his fault, as if old age was.

And that you are watching.

Someone said: "Perfect Valor is to do, without a witness, all that we could do before the whole world." I guess I'm not big on valor. But I'd like to think that I'm pretty big on setting an example. I can tell you how to treat your elders till I'm blue in the face and then I can undo it all in a second of not being a good son.

And then there's the selfish part. If you are paying attention (and you never miss a thing), this may be the biggest influence of how you treat me if I live past 60.

Someone else old and wise said: "The days that are still to come are the wisest witnesses." When I lack the courage and the strength to do the right thing for the sake of the days that are still to come, all I need to do is to look into your eyes, Vivian.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Years

Twenty five, ten, and four years.

It's been twenty five years since I first set foot in Austin. August 1985 - a few days before school started - for new student orientation. Austin has been a good home.

Last month in South Africa, one evening I realized that it was the tenth anniversary of selling Neonyoyo. Time to get off my ass.

Yesterday four years ago Arjun was killed while riding his bike on 360. Not long enough to forget the sound of hearts being ripped open.

Back to Grace

Parents and kids were invited yesterday to meet their new teachers at Vivian's school. It was great to see her new class and meet her new teachers and say hello to Ava and visit with Ms. Mary.

When we walked in through the church doors, there was a crowd of parents and kids and church and school people milling around. While Jo and Evan and myself were looking around and finding our bearings, I noticed that Vivian was greeting and hugging friends and making new ones. One such person was Pastor Paul, who I had never met before. He noticed my eyes following Vivian and asked "Is that one yours?"

I confessed that she was. He said "For someone so young she is full of energy and open to life". I agreed. Then I told him how she had been counting the days till she could get back to school and how last year she would kiss the doors of the church before entering because she enjoyed school so much.

Pastor Paul's eyes opened wider. He looked straight into mine. Then he said very seriously "You know she'll be President one day".

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Seamen

Evan turned four months old today. He rolls over, laughs, talks very loudly, growls, farts like a champion at the National Sauerkraut Eating Contest, and grabs hair, forks, plates, toys and anything he can reach.

Vivian is getting very good at following conversations. When Jo and I talk, she listens and assimilates. If she has difficulty, she asks lots of questions.

This morning, after cup cakes from Upper Crust while Jo was cross-fitting, Vivian watched Lilo and Stitch for the hundredth time. She asked me why Lilo was sad. I said it was because Mr. Bubbles was going to have to take her away from her sister. After dinner I gave her a big hug. She asked me what the hug was for. I said it was for eating well and being well behaved during dinner. She said "and if I don't get into trouble they won't take me away from my daddy and mommy like they took Lilo away". Which caused Jo and me to convince her that no one was taking her away from us. Period. Didn't matter how she behaved. In hindsight, we should probably have left some wiggle room and a bit of doubt...

Then Jo turned on the Tivo and John Stewart was showing a clip from the new Jennifer Aniston movie. The Jen character says that she needs semen. Vivian asks "Mommy, what is semen?"

I was laughing so hard I didn't hear all of Jo's response which involved people from the Navy who are on ships and because they sail the seas they are sometimes called seamen....

Friday, August 20, 2010

The End of an Era

A couple of hours after the sun went down I pulled that rag top down on the Miata and took her out for a spin. A drive down memory lane. As I was walking out the door, Jo said "One last time...?". If all goes as planned, on Monday or Tuesday, the car will belong to Greta.

When I bought the Miata I was still a few months away from defending my thesis. I didn't own a home or have a full-time job. The first night after I bought the car I woke up in the middle of the night and walked out on to the front porch to see if the car was still there. Moto offered me a job the day after I defended. I asked for a month off and went on a road trip. We didn't have a plan and ended up in Boston. I can still picture driving parts of the Blue Ridge Parkway on the way there.

The car came with a nice picture postcard (a media shot of the Miata). I sent it to my mother with a message scrawled on the back "Mama - my new car!". At that time Alu was in Windsor and had sent my parents a picture of him looking like a scientist that had been published in the local paper. My mother had that picture on her dresser and she was proud of it. Months later when I went to Hyderabad I notice that the postcard had ended up next to Alu's picture. It stayed there for many years.

Tonight I went back and drove some of my favorite roads around Austin. Mt Bonnell, Spicewood Springs, 2222, Bee Caves, 620, 360. Some things are still the same - there still a Jack Browns at the corner of 2244 and 71 though there are malls and shopping centers all around it now. And so much has changed. My liquor store on the way to the marina - back when I used to consider a week without sailing was a week wasted - is now a church. I have to smile. Two things that bring illusions of happiness followed by much misery: alcohol and religion...:-)

So much has happened in the 20 years since. There are at least four friends who rode in that car with me who are now some place where they don't need cars any more. One of them is Mary. I met Mary though her son, Dorky Steve who in turn knew Rajeeta from Kenya when he was in the Peace Corps. Steve was a bit like Rainman but he was a model son and took great care of Mary. Then one day he ran away with a stripper and no one has heard from him since. Mary was over 90 years old and wore compression stockings and moved uncertainly with a walker. It took her 5 minutes to get into the Miata and 10 to extract herself with help from two of us. She was the last person I knew who said "whoopsy" till Vivian said it for a while. We put the top down and screamed up 2222 towards 620. We stopped at Mansfield Dam (back when you had to drive on the dam) to take in the view. She was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. She said "Arun - can you drive faster?"

For a while my commute was Mt Bonnell Road to 2222 to Loop 360. On the way back, I'd take 2222 to Balcones Drive for a change. Sometimes I'd drive Spicewood Springs Road at lunch just for fun. I never turned on the radio on the Miata because the motor sounded so sweet. One day it was raining very hard when I left work. On one of those turns on 2222 I skidded and did a full 360. At about 180 I recall the expression on Sharon's face when we briefly looked at each other - she was in the car directly behind me. From that day, I drove the Miata like a old lady when it rained.

For all that, it isn't hard to say goodbye to the Miata. Vivian calls it "Daddy's red car". But some things live on better as memories. My dearest wife summed it up best (as she often does) - "its the end of an era".

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Roll Over

When I was in South Africa, Jo noticed that Evan could roll over from his belly to his back. Now he is reliably rolling over onto his belly. And he kicks furiously - Jo thinks his Indian-ness must include some Kickapoo.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Your Brain on TV

About a hundred times a day, Vivian asks Jo or me: "Can I watch a cartoon?" And about 98 times we say "No". Today seemed to be a good day to elaborate instead of just saying no.

Vivian: "Can I watch a cartoon?"
Me: "Mommy said No".
Vivian: "Why can't I watch a cartoon?"
Me: "Because watching TV makes your brain smaller. At this rate Abe will have a bigger brain than you soon. Do you want that to happen?"
[Abe is our very dumb cat. We have previously discussed the smallness of Abe's brain].
Vivian: "No".

A few hours later, Jo told me that Vivian couldn't watch any more TV today. This embargo was apparently necessitated by a clash between Mommy and TV. Vivian was watching the Little Einsteins when Leo asked her to pat her legs (to make rocket ship go faster). Jo was trying to get Evan to nap and told Vivian not to engage in patting. Leo won.

Me: "See - you didn't listen to Mommy and that got you in trouble. A sure sign that your brain is getting smaller."
Vivian: "But I want to watch cartoons. You watched the World Cup".
Me: "I did. You can watch a little TV".
Vivian: "But my cousins watch TV all the time".
Me: "That's up to their parents to decide. Did you know that your friend E doesn't ever watch TV. She doesn't even have a TV in her home".
Vivian: "Gasp! Why not??"
Me: "Her parents don't watch TV so they don't own a TV".
Vivian: "Hurry daddy. We need to help E. Lets go and buy her a TV now".

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Sunday Morning

Vivian wants curly hair. Naturally, since her hair is straight as a Marine drill officer. So last night after Vivian's shower, Jo braided her hair. And this morning she undid the braids and put on curlers.

Then we walked around and ended up at Grandpa's where the curlers were taken off. I helped Vivian up to the mirror so she could admire herself. She said "I look so pretty. My hair looks like curly fries!". Jo took this picture while Vivian was in curlers.

Then I discovered that Grandpa was dozing off everywhere because he has been taking is medication wrong. Going forward, I have volunteered for the task of filling his pill box every morning.

After that the girls went off to see Toy Story. Evan and I read the Sunday Times and he drank some formula and I had a beer and we took some pictures of him in the swing. This one best captures his mood.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Waking Up

Thanks to a strong swaddling habit, genes, and a big dose of luck, we have sleepers. Vivian wakes up leisurely at eight in the morning and jumps into bed with us for a few minutes of TLC. A little bit later Evan squawks and someone goes and throws him into the pile. Yesterday and this morning I had my camera close at hand.



Speak in Spanish

Yesterday Vivian, Dadu and I were headed to Dog & Duck, ostensibly to pick up a couple of orders of fish and chips. When Vivian saw that my dad was taking his sweet time getting ready, she rolled her eyes and said "cholo joldi" (let's go, hurry up - in Bengali).

A little bit later, we were sitting in the covered front porch of D&D sweltering in the 100 degree heat and trying to cool off with beer. My dad and I were chatting in Bengali.

Vivian: "Excuse me daddy"
Me: "What's up?"
Vivian: "Why are you speaking in Bengali?"
Me: "Why not?"
Vivian: "You're not in India"
Me: "Should that matter?"
Vivian: "Yes - here you should speak in Spanish"

My daughter appears to have a speak-English-in-America-or-go-back-home view with a twist. Like the log-cabin variety, a Cabana Republican.....?