God Parents

My children are free to pursue their own stories about whence this universe came from or what happens to you after you die. I prefer: "We don't know" and "You rot" but if that doesn't appeal to them they will probably adopt a pre-canned answer from one of the various authorized dispensers of belief.

But one drawback of being a child of a ungodly person is that you don't have god parents (because that would be an oxymoron). So this conversation took place while driving yesterday. I was probably driving five miles over the speed limit and a comment from Jo may have lead to it.

Vivian: "Mommy - do we have a godfather or a godmother?"
Jo: "No"
Vivian: "Why?"
Me: "A god parent's job is to continue your religious life along the path desired by your parents and your church - so that's why"
Vivian: "So what would happen to us if you both die?"
Jo: "You have guardians"

[then Jo got absorbed by something urgent that came up on her phone leaving me to carry on]

Evan: "So who would look after us if you both died?"
Me: "Aunt Cole and company"
Vivian: "Yea!!"
Evan: "What would happen if they died?"
Me: "Uncle Alu and Aunt Michelle"
Evan: "And what would happen if they died?"
Me: "Uncle Aaron and company"
Evan: "And what would happen if they died?"
Me: "I don't know. You'll just look after yourselves"
Vivian: "Can Karen and Tim look after us? They are like family?"
Me: "If you ask nicely, I suppose"

Evan was still ploughing on relentlessly though the "and if they died" recursion when Jo rejoined the discussion.

Jo: "That's why we teach you to be independent and responsible. So you can take care of each other and yourselves if needed. Would you do anything differently if you suddenly had money and could do anything you wanted?"

Evan: "I would go to a candy store and buy lots of candy"
Jo: "But would you for instance stay at your school?"
Vivian: "No - I think that would cost too much money. I would put us in a cheaper school, and sorry Evan, but you wouldn't be able to spend much money on candy".

I love it. Vivian seems like a self absorbed space cadet teen most of the time, but when the chips are down I'd want her leading the way.

[Thanks to Bonnie of Bonnie Berry Photography for making Vivian and Evan look half-decent in the photo]

Last Weekend

Last weekend was wide open. In fact there was absolutely nothing on our calendar for Saturday - which is downright weird. We ended up taking the kids to see a bilingual play ay the Zach - Tomas and the Library Lady. Then we walked around Auditorium Shores and even dropped in on a Summer Camp fair at the Palmer Events Center.  

The next day, Sunday,  Jo was at an off-site strategy meeting all day. The kids and I started at Taco Shack and Ramsey Park and then went over to Austin's newest rock climbing spot - the Austin Bouldering Project. It was amazing. Walls everywhere - 12 to 15 feet high at various angles with climbing routes of all levels of difficulty.  Evan and I did okay but Vivian was in heaven. She has great arm and hand strength from spending every moment of every recess on the monkey bars. And she loves to climb. Without belaying or harnesses to worry about, she could always fall back on to the soft floor from anywhere. We'll be back.

Autobiography

This is Evan's autobiography (I have only translated his spelling):

I was born April 20 in Austin
I went to India
I turned 2 in Hawaii
I started Grace Garden
I thought Jesus was Cheez-its
I went to Disney World
I started cooking classes
I turned 4
Then next year I started Magellan

We had taken Vivian and Evan to a play, Tomas and the Library Lady, which is based on an autobiographical account of a young Mexican immigrant worker in Texas and Iowa in the 1930s. They handed Evan a worksheet after the play and this what he filled in that night.

The Jesus and Cheez-Its probably requires a bit of an explanation. Evan was attending Grace Garden at that time - a preschool run by a Methodist Church. They weren't into serious indoctrination but the kids had to go to chapel on Wednesdays and the pastor chatted with them. So Evan had heard of Jesus. About the same time he also came across this Tex-Mex gastronomical joke:

"What to do in queso emergency?"
"Pray to Cheesus"

He conflated "cheesus" into a word that he had heard - Cheez-Its. And from then on, as much as they tried at chapel, they could unfortunately never displace Cheez-Its with Jesus, and there ended Evan's religious education. But as far as autobiographies go I was impressed. Short and to the point.

Napping

We walked into the house at about 10:15 am on this beautiful Sunday morning and I taped this note to the front door for Ava and Eleanor so they don't knock. Meanwhile Jo hustled Evan off to bed and then dove under the covers herself and promptly fell asleep.

Vivian is, very quietly, doing something at her desk, and I am blogging. But we are both pretty tired too and may nod off at any moment. We've already had a busier then usual weekend. On Friday evening we picked the kids up from Becky's house who had collected our two and her three from school while Jo and I were at a meeting. Then we drove home to get them out of school uniforms so we could drop them off at Pump-It-Up - a local indoor bouncy castle place which the 3rd grade parents had rented for the night. While the kids bounced and were fed pizza the parents met at Fork and Vine and commiserated about the seemingly downward spiraling intelligence of our children. By the time the evening ended and the kids were in bed it was past 10. Early by Hyderabad standards, but unusual for Austin.

The next morning, on Saturday,  Jo drove Vivian to Jumpoline (a local indoor trampoline establishment) for a birthday party of a classmate while I drove Evan to Tad's house. Tad is a parent of one of his classmates and leads a creative design-oriented after school activity. Evan and four other kids were off to a "conference" in Buda for the day. After dropping him off I piddled around the tree house and made very little progress, being mostly hampered by the glorious afternoon. Jo and Vivian returned. We went to pick Evan and then drove to Vivian and Evan's Grace Garden friend's home. We drank wine with their parents and the kids pummeled each other joyfully in a hammock and on the trampoline. Then we took Vivian and Evan for a sleepover at another of Vivian's classmate's home. It's Evan's maiden sleepover (except at Aunt Nicolle's). And he is the only lad with three maidens.

We intended to drop them off but were invited to dinner at the sleepover home. More wine while the kids watched Goosebumps. When we headed home at around 10pm, the kids were still going strong. I had to go to a friend's fiftieth birthday party and returned home at 1am - apparently the same time the kids finally settled down to sleep back at the sleepover. They need a different name to describe this thing.

And that's why we are napping this morning. 

Ass

I feel that I can cook most edible things to taste reasonable. Like the lovely snow pea shoots very lightly sautéd with garlic in sesame oil. This was in the first CSA farm box of the season. And the first to go. Then I decided to try the turnips. Three lovely plump purple top beauties. The last time I had roasted them as you would any root vegetable. That was okay. This time I wanted the kids to eat it too. So I went with a recipe to puree them. The recipe promised that they would taste just like creamy mashed potato. I boiled them in milk, added garlic, herbs, butter, salt and pepper and pureed the whole thing.

While the turnips were simmering in milk I started to notice a bad smell. So did Jo and the kids. I shrugged away any suggestion that the end product would smell bad. "It's going to be just like creamy mashed potatoes". To which Evan hedged his bets by saying "I don't like mashed potatoes".

When the puree was ready I scooped up a big spoon and hungrily tried it. Then I hurriedly washed it all down the sink and ran the disposer for good measure. Tasted worse than ass. Much worse.

Ski

Finally on the last day of a week on the slopes I did severals blacks, thanks to my friend Larry who met me at Breckenridge and pushed my skills further than I would have myself. In a pursuit where the participants and the snow are whiter than the Oscars I can now call myself a black skier. There you go, Peyton.

By Texas standards it was blisteringly cold and it snowed up on the mountain most days. On Friday I drove back to Denver to pick Jo, Carol and the kids from the airport, at about the same time Aaron & Co rolled into town.

While waiting for Jo at Denver airport I saw this alien ship getting ready to land. Or it might have been an amazing sunset.

The kids had a blast. They only got one day on the slopes and that was enough. And at the end of the day they were so tired that they had to nap right there after I returned their equipment and while we waited for Mama to come pick us up.

So tired that when they got back to the place we were renting they played for another three hours in the snow with their cousins. They built forts, dug tunnels, dragged sleds around, and of course had some epic snowball fights. It was dark when Aaron and I had to yell at them (from the hot tub) to return home.

By the time they came in, Evan was almost frozen stiff and had to lay down in front of the fireplace to thaw himself out. Good times. (Thanks for the photos, Beth)

Funny Texts

It was just past 6AM. I was dreaming about how nice it is to sleep in. No kids, no wife. I'm skiing in Colorado. And that it's not a dream. Then my phone starts to go off. First call is from my dad's banker in India. We had worked out that 7:00 AM in Austin / 6:30 PM in India is a good for both of us. But today I ignore the call and burrow deeper into the pillows. Then a series of chirps indicating texts. Reluctantly I roll over and take a look. 

Apparently Ava next door had been left home alone (with baby Z) and was worried. Karen was at the gym. So Ava, amazingly resourcefully, picked up Tim's phone and texted our neighbor group (Tim, Karen, Jo and me). Jo initially thought that Tim had lost his parents. So she went over next door to help find them. Luckily our kids overslept and didn't wake up and text Karen when they couldn't find their parents. All ended well. Jo found Timmy unexpectedly asleep in his bed. 

After that it turns out that Vivian required an early morning trip to the dentist to have a wire in her braces adjusted. And then second breakfasts. So the kids rolled into school tardy as turds.

I'm going to see if Ava can teach my kids how to text when they need to. To use correct capitalization and say "Thank you". And to remain calm. Now to ski. 

Harry and Mary

Evan got to dress up for school last Friday.

His class had donated the most books for a book fair or something like that. I'm unsure and too embarrassed to ask again because Jo has already explained this to me thrice. In any event, whatever it is, it conferred upon the kindergarten class the right to dress to school that day as their favorite book character.  Evan chose to be Harry Potter.

We procured the Gryffindor tie and Potter glasses from Tera Toys. He borrowed Vivian's play robe and an old Javanese chop stick from me and was ready.

When I dropped in on him at school later that morning he was sitting next to his friend who was Hermione. They rocked the costumes. 

The next morning, Vivian got dressed up (here's a shot from the green room) and I took her to her performance of Mary Poppins. Carol and Nicolle drove up from down south and Nicolle got a lovely bouquet of red roses for Vivian for after the show.  

Vivian, neighbor Ava, school mate Saskia (who is Evan's classmate), and three others have been practicing at the Adderley School since Fall for this performance. Alana Adderley is a force of nature and someone who loves what she does. And it showed.  I actually enjoyed the performance. The quality of singing was uniformly good but what made it a memorable show was how much fun the kids had (unfortunately my camera battery died 2 minutes into the show. Karen - thanks for the lovely photo).

Vivian gets a couple of weeks off and then it's back to the grind - with Mamma Mia! in spring.

The Cookie Incident

One loves veggies. The other hates them. One dislikes reading. the other loves it. One strongly prefers to stay at home and the other loves to go out. One cries and the other negotiates. 

One is Vivian and the other is Evan. 

Yesterday Jen and Travis were over for dinner. Out of affection for them, or more likely because their visits always coincide with a batch of Immaculate Baking Company's gluten free cookies in the oven, Vivian and Evan look forward to Jen and Travis's visits. Last night the cookies went in a bit late and by the time they came out the kids had brushed their teeth were ready for bed. Jo said "You'll get your cookies tomorrow."

Vivian begged a couple of times and then burst out in tears. I had to console her before Jo rescinded the cookies-tomorrow offer, which I could see was coming. 

"Vivian - I'll save you and Evan two cookies each and make sure you get them tomorrow. But you need to calm down and go to bed right now", I told her while she cried on my chest. 

"But cookies don't taste the same later. They get cold and hard", she sobbed

"I agree. Cookies are best when they are warm and fresh and I like that you came up with a good argument to eat them now. I'll heat them up for you tomorrow."

She went to bed crying. These are really good cookies. 

Then Jo told Jen, Travis and me how the kids had already eaten birthday cake, candy, and "some sort of pudding with Oreos" at a birthday party earlier that afternoon, and that they didn't need any more sugar.  

Which was when we heard Evan come back into the kitchen. "No. I didn't eat any of those things today. So can I eat cookies?" What he left unsaid was "Vivian obviously can't". He had been quietly listening and planning while Vivian was bawling in bed.

This morning, after they ate their omelettes (onions and peppers for Vivian, plain for Evan), I let them pick out a cookie each. Vivian reminded me and she heated both cookies and they ate them joyfully and went off to school.

A Slow Start

After Christmas, we slowed down and did nothing. The morning after we got back in town I took the kids for tacos and to Ramsey park. For the New Year Eve celebrations, we lit a fire and sat around in the back deck with the kids and Ava and Tim and Karen (and Zinnia by baby monitor). My first alcohol free new year's eve since probably 9th grade. Not by choice or by design but because I was too lazy to get up and go make myself a drink and besides there were s'mores. Yes - it's going to be that kind of a year.

I started work on a tree house. Vivian and Evan saw me build the fence from hell at Carol's over a period of six months. So expectations are low. But if Evan catches me not looking particularly busy at any time of the day or night, he says "Daddy - can you build the tree house?" Yesterday he decided to take matters into his own hands.

On the second day of the new year we drove to Wimberley to spend the evening with Jen and Travis at a cabin they had rented in the hill country. The kids soaked in the hot tub while Travis and I soaked in some whiskey. Which brought my self non-imposed alcohol-free year to a sudden and premature end.

Yesterday was the first day of school. Vivian and Evan were singularly underwhelmed and unimpressed with the idea of getting back to school. The most excitement they managed to muster was when they tried to identify the characters in their Star Wars cereal for breakfast. I know. We've seen the movie twice and have fallen deep into the merchandising pit, all the while complaining about how mediocre the movie is.

Jo worked with the kids to review their twenty fifteen year. For "My Best Idea", Vivian wrote "No Gans [sic]". Vivian has a strong anti-gun streak coupled with very poor spelling. On January 1, it became legal to open carry in Texas. She thinks it is odd that we should allow people too young to vote or too intoxicated to drive to carry. Evan completed the sentence "I like to spend my time..." "With my Mom and Dad". Not as idealistic as Vivian, but oh so sweet.

Today I made my list of shit I need to get done. The to-do list for the three houses alone are two pages long. Make that three pages when I add my dad's house in Hyderabad. One miserable small item on the list was to install the new microwave. Our old Dacor had popped, crackled and finally snapped while I was in India. For the last two months we had returned to pre-microwave times. It has been strangely easy and satisfying to heat things in a pan on a gas flame. But one needs a microwave.  So I ordered a Panasonic in the size closest to the Dacor. The Dacor trim alas didn't fit because the Panasonic is five eights of an inch taller. And ordering a trim kit from Panasonic would have cost almost as much as the microwave and required me to rearrange the woodwork of the cabinetry. I decided to stuff the Panasonic microwave into the existing cabinet and force the Dacor trim around it. I drilled out rivets from the trim and took it apart, filed the cabinet wood down an eight of an inch, moved a cabinet door up by another sixteenth, took the rails off the built-in rack and replaced them with three quarter inch boards, and finally put everything back.  So I had to take a photo and take the rest of the day off.

The good news is that I won't need to make another list at the start of twenty seventeen. I'll still be working on this one.

All The Cousins

On Christmas Eve we celebrated one round of Carol's birthday. At least two kids would have preferred a retake but this is the only photo I managed to grab of Carol with all her thirteen grandchildren, so here it is.

And on Christmas morning, here they are. All thirteen by themselves. Because this doesn't happen very often (this is the first time), I'll go ahead and label them: (from L to R) Bela, Ava, Grace, Evan, Vivian, Peyton, Logan, Cade, Kai, Quinn, Gage, Zach, and Devyn. There's no need to list parentage because you can tell who belongs to whom.

They played like they have been friends all their lives. The five acres helped. Most of the time we didn't see much of the kids at all. Evan scraped his face off again surfing down the driveway. But otherwise there was very little fuss and mostly a lot of running around in the woods and hanging around under trees away from adults. I finished my fence from hell on Christmas morning and it was immediately  tested for robustness. If I hadn't put in a gate at all nobody would have noticed because they jumped the fence every time. 

Like my fence, we grown-ups made it through the holidays too. After Christmas Erick and Aaron and their families dodged tornadoes in the east and blizzards in the west and made it back to their respective homes safely. We returned to the white wooden house and probably unconsciously kept away from each other for the first twenty four hours. Except poor Crazy who had spent three days alone and wanted all the company she could get.