Jo is a Daddy

If cancer hasn't been cured and poverty is still rampant all over the world, it's because the Indian consulate and it's outsourced company have hired all the smartest people on earth.

Jo was getting frustrated dealing with all the smart people. I tried to explain to her that this level of bureaucratic muddling was a mere whisper in the symphony that is the Government of India.

Today we went and picked up the kids' PIO (Person of Indian Origin) cards. When we got back to Austin, I took a look at the cards. They proudly announce:

Name of Father/Spouse: JoEllen Clark

That's after 16 pages of application forms and copies of my last two passports and PIO card!

Cliff Jumping

I was getting Vivian ready for her last dance class (parent observation day). She was dressed in her ballet clothes and wanted me to pack her regular clothes in the dance bag so she could change into them after class.

Vivian: "Daddy - can you take my clothes in the bag?"
Me: "Why? Don't you usually come home and change?"
Vivian: "I want to change at dance class"
Me: "Why?"
Vivian: "Because my friends change at dance class?"
Me: "Why? What's wrong with changing when you get home?"
Vivian: "Nothing. But my friends change at dance class."
Me: "OK. But would you jump off a cliff if your friend jumped off a cliff?"
Vivian: "No."

Silence for about 30 seconds. Then,

Vivian: "Why would my friends jump off a cliff?"
Me: "No - they wouldn't. I'll take the clothes".
Vivian: "But why did you say they would jump off a cliff?"
Me: "Your friends probably wouldn't. But people do. No. Don't worry, I've taken your clothes."
Vivian: "Daddy - you are silly."

Cinderella

Cinderella is (unfortunately) one of Vivian's favorite stories, and it's her ballet recital this year.

When Jo first told me that Vivian's recital was going to be held when Jo was going to be away in LA, I had two questions: "Is Vivian OK with it?", and "Who is going to do her hair?"

Answers: yes and you.

I had help. While Vivian would miss her mother, she'd probably forget it soon, surrounded by her aunts and cousins and of course her grandma, all of who were going to come up again this year. And I had backup. If I fudged up her hair, Michelle, who is a hair wizard, would only be one couch away.

Jo showed me how to do Vivian's hair on the day of Vivian's dress rehearsal. And put all her hair products and accessories and dance dress and shoes in a bag for me.

As instructed, I washed Vivian's hair the night before (Don't wash it the same day because it will be too hard to work with). Grandma brushed it out very carefully. Then, with three pairs of eyes helping me, and a can of hairspray at hand, I got her hair done.

The recital was a success. The kids were amazing. And Vivian was a bundle of joy on stage. I'll add clips once the official video is available. Here are some photos from before and after the show.

Home Alone Again

It's not that we are alone - it's that Mommy isn't home.

Jo is in LA for the weekend living it up with her friends. This is Evan's first time without Mamma - and he's happy to report that so far he's holding up.

From experience, I know that it's best under theses circumstances to keep them busy. Time flies. They are tired out by the activity. And no one notices that dad's not got his ducks lined up.

After we dropped Mommy off at the airport, we went to Central Market (shamefully, to buy a pre-packed lunch for Vivian). We took the opportunity to play around in the play ground. Then it was time for Vivian's school and Evan's morning nap. When Evan woke up from his nap, I whisked him off for a walk in the stroller and a few minutes at Ramsey Park. Then we picked up Vivian and played at home for a bit. Afternoon naps followed. Then I had a trimming accident and needed a quick trip to the barber shop (during which I dropped the children off at the Shahs). We rounded out the day with a picnic at Northwest Park. Jen took care of the kids while I stuffed myself with kale salad and bacon wrapped dates. They ate a huge helping of sausage and followed it up with watermelon. I felt that my kids were eating more than the Crossfit coaches and took them home. It was past Evan's bed time. A cartoon later, it was Vivian's bed time.

This morning Evan awoke a 6am. We played and ate fruits and finally had to wake Vivian up at 715. Then we went running with the Shahs at Town Lake and ate breakfast at Whole Foods. It was a lovely morning - here are some pictures.

Time for Evan's morning nap. Vivian and I read some books and chatted with Mommy on the phone. Lunch and afternoon naps. I had to wake Vivian up to give her a quick shower before her ballet recital. She was crying loudly to protest being pushed under a shower while she was still asleep - when her cousins and aunts and Grandma walked in. Got her dressed. Aunt 'chelle took care of Evan and J while we went off to the recital. Followed by chaos  in the living room - a very hyped up Vivian and an excited Evan played with their six cousins. Dinner. Evan to bed. A bit of The Wizard of Oz. Vivian's bed time. End of Day 2. Two more to go.

I haven't been able to get an ounce of work done. Otherwise things have so far gone very smoothly.

Random Vivian Pictures

Jo took this photo at the Long Center before the start of the Magic Flute. The Austin Ballet Company is staging a ballet version of the opera. Vivian sat through the full ballet even though it was well past her bed time.

In the photo below, Vivian is putting finishing touches on the body of the butterfly. The wings can be partially seen behind her. This was the final day of Art Enrichment Class at school. I had a hard time getting Vivian to leave.

We left the art class and went to Felix's birthday. The kids left all the toys alone and glommed on to the hammock.  More than once it seemed that a trip to the emergency was inevitable, but somehow they managed to hang on.

Saving a Baby Bird

When I picked Vivian up from school after the storm the other day, she noticed two baby birds under the tree by the car. They must have fallen out of the tree during the storm. One had landed in its head and lay dead in a pool of watery blood. The other sat beside it shivering and wet. We decided that it wasn't going to make it without some help. We looked up and saw it's parent - a dove, sitting helplessly on a branch above, next to a nest. So Vivian emptied a box of diapers in the trunk and popped the poor bird in the box. When we got home, Vivian helped figure out what to feed it ("Daddy, what's the baby bird going to eat? I don't think we should chew worms and feed it"). We settled on ground cat food. We put the box on the dinning table, shooed Crazy out of the house, and let it get warm and dry.

By afternoon, it was moving around in the box. By next morning it seemed ready. We took the box back to school after dropping Mommy off at the airport. Vivian opened the box under the tree where we had found the bird the day before.

The bird hesitated for a minute and then flapped it's wings a couple of times and flew up into the tree where it was greeted by a happy parent. Vivian did her happy dance under the tree and I dropped her off at Ms. Mary class for Friday Fun Day. Oh - and she was dressed in pajamas because she thought it would be fun. I heard that Ms. Mary liked the idea and may consider making next Friday a pajama day.

Growing Up in a Gym

The other day it started pouring while I was working out (the first good shower in Austin since last September). It caught us all by surprise. Jo drops off the kids at the gym before she starts her workout and I take Vivian to school and Evan back home for his nap, usually. But on this day he wanted to stay up and see the rain. And being only the second real rain shower of his life, I thought he should. So I brought him back to the gym to watch the ladies finish up their workout. He found himself a kettle bell and decided to show off. Jen took the photo with her iPhone.

Birthday Loot

Evan got lots of cool loot for his birthday. He loves to play with the hulking alphabet train and the little people airport and with his cars and trucks and other noise-making mobile machines and stuff. And the other day he finally got his engraved silver cup from Tiffany's. Thanks, Uncle Alu and Aunt Michelle. When he's older we'll hold this up as proof that there was no second-child syndrome here!

Ass Plunk

The City deemed that some of the bamboo and other trees at the edge of the backyard needed to be trimmed to keep them clear of the electrical lines. So a supervisor from Asplundh stopped by and said that they would have a team out here shortly. Then about a month later they show up. Three truck loads. They spend the first day sitting in Robbe's yard. I've never seen a slower moving bunch of guys.

Vivian asked what they were doing. Jo answered "Honey - not everybody gets to sit at home. Some people have to go to work. And then they sit there".

Hot

April was the hottest and one of the driest on record in Austin. Then came the cold front and a couple of chilly days. Now it feels like July. Like we are in the middle of summer. Vivian went to Lucia's birthday party yesterday and it was a water party. And today we spent most of the day in the pool. Ninety seven degrees in the shade.

Happy Mother's Day

Back in 2009 I made a collage of 8 photos of Vivian and Jo for Mother's Day. In 2010, I believe I skipped observance of the day because we were in the early stages of adjusting to Jo's second bout with motherhood. Here are pictures from the 2011 collage.

The Poop Incident

This morning I had taken off Evan's peed-in diaper from the night and was about to put him in a fresh diaper when Jo suggested that I throw the kids in the bath tub. Then Jo sailed out the front door to go workout.

I decided against putting him in a fresh diaper and instead take my chances for a few seconds while I got the bath tub ready. As I thought through this I recalled Jo and my previous conversation about a minute ago.

Jo: "Did you change a poopy diaper yesterday?"
Me: "No".
Both: "Hmmm - he's ready for a big one".

This is a kid who poops many times a day. Missing a whole day is unusual.

I pushed the thoughts away and put Evan down in the living room next to Vivian who was engrossed in a Cat-in-the-Hat show on TV. Then I ran to the back bathroom and spun the faucets and waited for a few seconds till the temperature was just right. That's when I heard Evan making strange noises in the front of the house. A mixture of baby "Uh-ohs" and "hmm - what's going on here". I left the water running and ran back to the living room.

I spotted the first turd. I would have seen it from a hundred yards away. It wasn't small. Somewhere between conscious and sub-consciousness I wondered how such a small orifice could produce a turd of such girth. While I was pondering this I scanned the kitchen, hallway, and dinning area and discovered that this wasn't the only, and not even the largest turd.

I scooped Evan up and took him to the changing table. Many wet-wipes later he was clean enough till the bath tub. When we walked back the turds were surprisingly still there. Damn. I asked Vivian if she had noticed that she was in a field of poop. She looked up from the TV, seemed mildly surprised, said "No" and went back to watching TV. I handed Evan to her and ran back to the bath tub to turn off the water. By the time I ran back to the living room, Vivian was again engrossed in the show and Evan was engrossed in a turd that he had previously laid on the doormat. Repeat operation with wet wipes.

This time when Evan was clean, I turned off the TV and ushered Evan and Vivian to the back play room and shut the hall-way gate. Then I went to work with clorox wipes (thank you, Mr. Inventor-of-Wipes). Pretty soon there was a large plastic bag full of turds and gently-used wipes outside the front door. And a rolled up door mat.

Then I ran back to the kids who were getting wooly in the back room and we went to the bathroom. I thought that the water in the tub may be just slightly warmer then usual. I gently lowered Vivian into it and asked if she would be OK. She said yes and then peed all over the bath water. I guess it was warmer.

So we drained the bathtub, refilled it, and had nice baths. I dried off the kids, got them lathered in lotion and dressed for the day and walked back to the kitchen. That's when I noticed that I had forgotten all about the chicken and rice soup on the stove. Luckily it hadn't dried out yet.

A second later Jo walked in and I could see that she was already wondering what all that shit on the porch was about.

Weanie Baby

This morning was Evan's second morning of being weaned. It went better than yesterday, his first. He squawked at 5:45am and by the sounds of it he wasn't going to go back to bed. So I went in and offered him a bottle of chilled Rice Dreams milk (enriched and vanilla flavored, please). He took it happily, chugged down half the cup, sat on me, burped, and then hummed and played and chilled. We eventually made it out of his room and he happily played with his toys.

Contrast that with yesterday - he had his arms up in the air ready to be picked up when he saw me walk in through the door and gasped (where is Mommy?). Then he threw himself back in bed (he never does this - usually nothing can be as bad as The Bed). And screamed and cried. And continued to do that even when I picked him up and put him on my shoulder. He finally calmed down when he realized that I wasn't empty handed and grabbed the sippy cup of milk.

One should have no trouble attributing all future weirdnesses in his relation with his mom, dad, milk, boobs, things that look like boobs, people with boobs, and people without boobs to this one incident in Evan's young life.

New Deck

The new deck and screened-in porch are done. And a rail just for the boys that I hated putting in. Tracy was a great contractor and finished on time. Amazing. Summer - here we come.....

Humming Birds

Carol has a humming bird feeder at the edge of the deck. We were sitting in the new screened-in porch as dusk approached. There were three or four humming birds buzzing the feeder. I walked out to the feeder and stood still for a few minutes. They returned soon and went about their business, looking my way once a while when the clicking of the shutter made a sound.

Pool Party

We celebrated the hottest April on record in Central Texas and the completion of the deck with a pool party.

Vivian (thankfully before the guests arrived) wanted to pee like a boy. She walked over to a corner of the deck, stood up straight, and peed like a boy! Grandma raised an eyebrow. I washed Vivian off with the hose and patted her on the back.

Evan's First Birthday Party

Evan turned one. Hopefully he'll be old enough to understand by the time he reads this. It was a second-child affair through and through. Evan shared the stage with Michelle who turned forty. We invited family and neighbors. That morning we woke up and realized that we had everything still left to do for the party. And we went to Town Lake for a walk followed by a leisurely breakfast.

Evan needed a bath after eating his cake. The bath was administered in the kitchen sink. And then he spent the rest of his birthday wandering around in diapers. Yes - all very second-child-ish.

Feathered Friends in the Morning

We got home from DC last night after 1am. So this morning Vivian was less than ready to jump out of bed, but she did manage to get up and get dressed. Last week the high in Austin was 97 degrees. This morning it was 49 degrees. We ran a bit, walked a bit, and hung with the birds a bit.

Evan was in particularly great spirits. The boy likes to be back in his town.

Happy Birthday Jo

In two minutes it will be May 3 and Jo's birthday.

Jo usually likes material stuff. Gadgets, jewelry - that sort of stuff. This year she asked for experiential stuff. She's getting an afternoon at Milk + Honey, and a sleep-in at dawn.

The sleep-in is big. It's the first time in just over a whole year that she won't have to jump up when Evan squaks. Tomorrow morning I'll do that instead. Which has some pretty big implications for the boy. Evan - can you say "Weaned"?!

Dear Jo - wish you all the very best for the coming year, and may this truly be the best yet.

DC

We went to DC to see Aaron get promoted to Lt. Col and celebrate his 40th. The ceremony was somber. The rest of the stay was loud - five boisterous kids in one place. Vivian and Evan loved every bit of it. Evan wrestled with Gauge. Vivian played endlessly with Gauge and Logan. Peyton dressed Vivian up and did her nails, and taught Evan how to high-five. One evening Aaron and I cooked a modified "Chopped" (reality TV cooking show) dinner using everything in a shopping basket that the women brought home (Italian sausage, tilapia fillets, Nilla wafers, eggplant, poblano pepper, broccolini, coke, artichoke, shallots).  The comments of our judges ranged from "I can't eat this", to "Not bad".

We drove around a bit. During that time, Vivian asked us about a lot of different things. Like how cement worked, what did jelly fishes do with their tentacles, and why tornados kill people.

On the way back to the airport, I stopped to fill gas. As I stepped out of the car, I hear Vivian asking:

"Grandma, do you think god is real?"

Grandma: "Different people believe different things". 

Vivian: "But Grandma, do you think that God is real?"

Grandma "Yes I do".

Vivian "You are religious - just like me".

Jo filled me in the portions that I missed.

Vivian "Not like my parents. My Mommy thinks that the world created itself".

At four, this girl has almost outstripped our ability to answer her questions. God help us...:-)

On the flight back, there was this kid that was hysterical. Literally. Screamed like it was all over for about 15 minutes during take-off and about the same before landing. His mother looked very shell-shocked.  Jo got some well-meaning nods of thanks when the passengers saw her walk out of the airplane carrying Evan who slept through it all.