Moms' Coffee

Soon it will be universally accepted that humans appeared wholly formed from the navel of a giant white fish exactly 3217 years ago.

Till then, poor Dawkins is out there working hard. These days he is peddling his new book. American TV hosts armed with long-held non-self-evident beliefs are pitted against Dawkins and relatively-recently-proven non-self-evident truths. But I was going to leave it alone till Vivian brought home a pamphlet from her mothers'-day-out program today. Mothers are invited to a cup of joe and to discuss how to answer difficult questions asked by our children like "What is heaven like? Why do bad things happen to kids? Was the world really only created in seven days?"

I am neither a mother nor a coffee drinker. So the good people of the church are spared but you, dear Vivian, are not.

What is heaven like?

It's a wonderful place. It's virgins - wall-to-wall. It's a celestial kingdom. It's here on earth. Pick a religion and you'll get matching baggage telling you about heaven and how to get there. But don't hurry up. Because almost universally you have to be dead first.

Why do bad things happen to kids?

Pray hard and stay on the plan to get in to heaven. If bad things still happen, it's God's will. Or it was an accident. Or there are people out there with twisted minds. And nasty diseases.

Was the world really only created in seven days?

Yep.

Shouldn't difficult questions have easy answers. Easy questions too. That was easy.