God

This is a photo of Evan from Puerto Rico during Spring Break a couple of months ago. He's grown up so much since then it's scary.

He has started reading. When Vivian went through this phase I'd pull her leg and say she was speaking Whale (from Finding Nemo). It is Tuesday after Memorial Day and Evan and I are at Whole Foods sitting and chowing down on noodles that the flooding had denied us the day before. He isn't at school because his face looks like ass with a bunch of mysterious bug bites from Saturday's camping trip.

"Suuus"
"Taaiin"
"Aaab"
"Bbiliiii"
"Tie"

All in slow motion with his mouth open in an "o" shape - which is why it's really like Whale.

"Dad - what did I just read?"
"I don't know - where did you read it from?"
"Over there - above the fishes"

I look behind me back towards the fish department. "Oh -  you just read 'sustainability'". And so it goes on and on. On the way back,

"Dad - there's a giant ant on the window"
"Like bigger than the car?"
"No - but bigger than a normal ant"
"What is it doing?"
"It's walking around and making a pattern with it's walking. Look at what pattern it just made."
"I can't Evan. I'm driving."
"Oh - it just made a 'M' pattern"
"Now what is it doing?"
"It made an 'O' pattern"
"May be it's trying to tell you something"
"Yes - it just said 'Mow the grass'"

Then, just as suddenly,

"Dad - I changed my mind about what I want to be when I grow up"
"What do you want to be?"
"I still want to be a scientist and a dad and a cook. But I also want to be a snail trainer and guard"
"Oh - why a snail trainer?"
"I want to train a snail to ride a bike"
"That's going to be hard - snails don't have hands or feet"
"That's why I'm going to have to wait till I grow up"

Later I am telling this to Jo. And he corrects me.
"Not guard, Daddy. Guard"
"Like a prison guard?"
"No. Guard!"

He is agitated. I'm not getting it. I look at Vivian who helps translate Evan often.

"God" she says, without looking up from her book.
"Oh. You want to be God?"
"Yes - like in the movie we saw"

We had seen Disney's take on Hercules a few days ago on Netflix. Evan wants to grow up and be Zeus. And a snail trainer.