With Vivian gone to camp, Evan's craziness became front and center. Jo finally had to tell me not to engage him in his irrational rants. Here are two examples.
One day Evan wanted crushed red pepper with his pizza. I put one tiny shake - three flakes.
"Daddy - that's not enough"
"But you know this stuff is really hot"
"I can eat it"
This went back and forth several times. I finally got exasperated and handed him the pepper jar. This is what his pizza slice looked like. I warned him that if he ate it there was nothing I could do besides get him a glass of milk while I laughed at him.
"I can eat it just like you daddy"
"OK"
He takes a bite.
"Umm Daddy - can you get me that glass of milk now?"
Another day Jo was packing for our upcoming trip. Four pairs of Vivian's shoes and three pairs of Evan's shoes lined one side of the hallway. Evan came up and asked if he could add his crocs to the pile. I agreed. Then he sat down in front and said
"Why does Vivian have more shoes?
We made him count.
"One, two, thee and four" and then
"One, two, three and four"
"See - Vivian has more shoes"
We tried again. THis time instead of counting pairs he counted shoes.
"Eight"
"Eight"
"Vivian has more shoes"
I was going crazy. Jo rearranged the shoes so that there were four groups, two pairs per group. Within each group, one pair belonged to Vivian and the other to Evan.
Same damn result.
Just as Jo and I were about to give up,
"Mommy - can I have more shoes than Vivian?"
I am writing this post many days after these events took place. We are now at Alu's. This evening at dinner, Vivian thanked Michelle for the gifts she and Alu mailed her on her birthday. I complimented Vivian on her thoughtfulness and turned to Evan.
"Evan - can you thank Aunt Michelle for your birthday gifts?"
"She didn't give me any gifts"
"Yes she did. Remember the Star Wars Legos? It came in three packets?"
"Mommy and I bought that from the store"
"No you didn't. Aunt Michelle and Uncle Alu sent that to you.
Michelle came to my rescue and pulled up her order history on Amazon and showed him where it had his name on the address and a happy birthday note.
"No - I bought that from the store"
That little turd.
One day Evan wanted crushed red pepper with his pizza. I put one tiny shake - three flakes.
"Daddy - that's not enough"
"But you know this stuff is really hot"
"I can eat it"
This went back and forth several times. I finally got exasperated and handed him the pepper jar. This is what his pizza slice looked like. I warned him that if he ate it there was nothing I could do besides get him a glass of milk while I laughed at him.
"I can eat it just like you daddy"
"OK"
He takes a bite.
"Umm Daddy - can you get me that glass of milk now?"
Another day Jo was packing for our upcoming trip. Four pairs of Vivian's shoes and three pairs of Evan's shoes lined one side of the hallway. Evan came up and asked if he could add his crocs to the pile. I agreed. Then he sat down in front and said
"Why does Vivian have more shoes?
We made him count.
"One, two, thee and four" and then
"One, two, three and four"
"See - Vivian has more shoes"
We tried again. THis time instead of counting pairs he counted shoes.
"Eight"
"Eight"
"Vivian has more shoes"
I was going crazy. Jo rearranged the shoes so that there were four groups, two pairs per group. Within each group, one pair belonged to Vivian and the other to Evan.
Same damn result.
Just as Jo and I were about to give up,
"Mommy - can I have more shoes than Vivian?"
I am writing this post many days after these events took place. We are now at Alu's. This evening at dinner, Vivian thanked Michelle for the gifts she and Alu mailed her on her birthday. I complimented Vivian on her thoughtfulness and turned to Evan.
"Evan - can you thank Aunt Michelle for your birthday gifts?"
"She didn't give me any gifts"
"Yes she did. Remember the Star Wars Legos? It came in three packets?"
"Mommy and I bought that from the store"
"No you didn't. Aunt Michelle and Uncle Alu sent that to you.
Michelle came to my rescue and pulled up her order history on Amazon and showed him where it had his name on the address and a happy birthday note.
"No - I bought that from the store"
That little turd.
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